Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed.

A friend of mine, Amy Phelps, just posted on facebook:

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least I'm in the shed.

Man, that's comfort for me today.

If you need me, I'll be in the shed.

From Ten to forty-Six

Today ten years ago Joe proposed to me by the pond in the BYU
sculpture garden, surrounded by snow and Christmas lights—a romantic
gesture for a mostly practical guy. I love you Joe! also,
congratulations to my parents who are having their forty-sixth wedding
anniversary today. Your example inspires me. Thank you.

Life in a Fallen world

Joe had a traumatic experience in the hospital the week before
Thanksgiving. Of course we have our own thirteen month old, so this
really hit home. This kind of experience is likely to stick with a
person for life and i don't envy Joe the image that has been burned in
his brain. Thankful that we have God in Heaven to put all things right
in due time.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Joseph D Walch
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2012 19:19:59 -0800

Last week I did CPR on a 13 month old girl who went into abrupt
cardiac arrest in the pediatric ED at Santa Rosa. They called it after
20 minutes of no heart activity--and when the kiddo started bleeding
out because of acidemic shock. It looked like it was likely child
abuse. I'm having a hard time getting over it, but it has made me
really appreciate the time I have with my healthy little girls.

Cherish the moments.

Joe

Good Ol' Republican Humor

In honor of daylight savings ending tonight, here's a joke for you...
If you're an Obama supporter, just close your eyes/ears for a moment.

Don't forget to change your clocks back tonight and your president on tuesday!

It's Tough to Be So Blessed

Before you shift your eyes to one side and say "pff, speak for
yourself", just stick with me. I read an unforgettable book last year
called, Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara
Demick. This book reads like fiction, but tells the terrible and true
stories of six defectors from totalitarian North Korea. Since reading
this book, I've never looked at a single grain of rice in the same
way. I should say that I don't mean this in the way that reading the
book Fast food Nation (which I haven't actually read) might make
someone never look at McDonalds in the same way—I mean this book gave
me a new understanding of the struggles that are out there in the
world today and how far distant I am from them. While I try hard to be
constructive rather than to pitty, I thank God that I'm able to feed
my children. Actually, more than pitty, this book stirs up more
feelings of anger than I'm used to, so I have to work at keeping those
in check too. Bottom line… Nothing to Envy is a must-read.

In a totally different genre but with at least one similar theme, I'm
currently reading the third book in the Anne of Green Gables series,
Anne's House of Dreams. In this book, a conversation (Leslie's big
apology) takes place between Anne and her neighbor and they discuss
some of the tragic events in their lives. Leslie recalls the
accidental death of her little brother and she says something along
the lines of "[If there's one thing I could forget in the next life it
would be that horrifying image]" to which Anne replies something like
"[You surely will forget]". It's interesting to me how commonplace
tragedy is in some sphere's of time and place and how despite my own
lack of real hardship, I'm still supposed to learn to have faith and
to repent and develop a relationship with Christ and believe His
atoning sacrifice is for all.

While I'm giving book recommendations, let me also put in a plug for
Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and work of Relief Society,
recently published by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I think there's a lot that pioneering women can teach us about faith,
courage, tenacity, industry, and priorities.

In the Bible it says "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye
of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God"
(Matthew 19:24). That's me, but I'm not just talking about the future
doctor's wife version of myself which seems so far distant at the
moment; I believe even the poorest person living in the united States
today is wealthier than the majority of the world's inhabitants of
today or times past.

So, what a challenge you and I have. I'm so busy thinking about what
birthday presents to buy for the girls, today's dishes, not to mention
my running schedule for the week; I mean, what's with today's
preoccupation with exercise anyway? Yes, I'm with you on the health
benefits and learning self-mastery, but largely it's recreation. This
is coming from the girl who several months ago proclaimed her
aspiration to do a triathlon. I still have that goal, but I continue
to juggle my priorities and wonder at the privilege of living in a
time and place that affords me the hope of achieving this goal. Only
the truly wealthy would do such a thing.

A final word on wealth—Of course wealth is more than money. I have an
abundant life. I just have to make a lot more use of it. This is also
not to discount the real trials that are endured by people around me,
some of which I'll inevitably face. I think my wealth commentary still
applies to those people. Anyhow, some people might think blindness is
pretty tough, which it has been in some ways, but I think at this
point in time, my trials are more like being attacked by the
Lilliputians from Gulliver's Travels (a book I should probably read)
or perhaps more aptly described as being pelted to death by
marshmellows (or maybe peanuts). No matter who you are, life is
relentless!

I ought not to end on this note—I should explain that the title of
this post is not meant to be tongue-in-cheek (despite my reference to
marshmallow wars). Maybe I'm grasping at straws to think of something
serious to say after that. Still, remember Matthew's words above. So
many of us around here have to work really hard at developing faith.
"To whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required" (Luke
12:48). . It just might be that my wealth is my greatest hardship.

PS My apologies that this post has been a bit all over the place.
Hopefully the theme holds it together if the writing is a bit
scatter-brained. I don't write this sort of thing very often and
apparently I need more practice.

100 + 100 = Millionaire

Listening to the @Dave Ramsey Show and learned that if you put $100
per month in a retirement account from age 25 you will be a
millionaire by age 65. That means my $100 cellphone bill (or whichever
it is) is costing me bigtime! A dollar consumed now equals $$$ lost.
Time to change the trend.

Ph.D. and Other Happenings

I'll begin in reverse order:

Caitlin is walking. She turned ten months old this week and she now
walks three or four steps before reverting to the crawl. It would be
really nice if she reached the sleeping through the night milestone,
but I'll forgive her only because she's cute. This stage in a baby's
life is pretty demanding for the parent, but I do think to myself
almost daily how I might actually miss it some day. Baby smiles and
baby hugs are difficult to top.

Random Caitlin story: Since she was teeny tiny, Caitlin has loved
blowing on a recorder that Miriam calls her "flute". Miriam too.
Anyway, the other day I was downstairs with Caitlin and we heard
Miriam upstairs beginning to play her "flute"; Caitlin immediately
turned her eyes up to the ceiling, put both hands in front of her,
puckered her lips in a little O shape and made some hooting noises.
Funny girl.

Miriam received her first tricycle this week. She's been saying "go
bicycle store" every weekend for a long time and now she has a bike of
her own which she's crazy about. She's in love with anything with
wheels. I found a used trike for a fraction of the cost and the two
months between here and her birthday just seem too long. I like to
think of myself as pretty patient but I have a particular weakness for
bikes. No secret there. Birthday shopping will have to come later.

Now for a Miriam story that I forgot to tell earlier; While on our
recent trip to Dallas the kids were supposed to be napping in our
hotel room while we were in the adjoining room with friends. I heard
singing so I poked my head in the door and heard Miriam singing "Old
Macdonald had a snake…" and I was then holding in my laughter such
that I didn't hear the rest. Joe had taken her to the science museum
that morning, and she had McDonald's for lunch, so I suppose it all
just fit nicely into a song.

Joe's dissertation is finally off to the publishers. Done, done, and
done. Dr. Joseph Walch Ph.D. is in the house. I was able to attend his
dissertation defense/presentation which was pretty cool but way above
my head. I remember my words were "Joe, I didn't know you speak
German." The part of the presentation I understood was "rats" and
"peeing more/less". Now those words I can understand. I also
understood the part about harvesting their brains… I suppose this is
the time that I try to think of a joke that would have something to do
with increasing my own brain cell count, but alas. In lieu of the
useless joke, I'll just say thank you rats for your contribution to
mankind and congratulations Joe!

Third year medical school starts next week. First on the schedule is
OB night shift delivering babies, followed by psychiatry, gynocology,
and pediatrics. Joe is told to expect eighty-hour work-weeks for the
coming year, to which I say "Buckle up girls".

July 2012 Snapshot

"I go bottom of the ocean"—that's Miriam's new catchphrase after
plunging into the pool. Although she wears a float vest, her head
dunks for a moment and she seems quite proud of her daring. In other
observations, there could be no limit to the number of popsicles she
would eat if given the opportunity. Also, whenever she sees someone
getting into their car she waves and says "Bye friend!" and when
walking past two people sitting on a bench, she said hi twice. She
also says "Bye house. See you later" every time we leave. Often when
passing a church steeple she says "spiky church".

Caitlin has discovered how to move her feet independently and is now
cruising along furniture and will take a single step without help.
This all started happening four days before turning nine months old.
Her third tooth also arrived so she has one on the top now to add
balance to the two on the bottom, and she's eager to use them; she
shrieks and squawks whenever food is in sight and I'm currently giving
her one or two people-food meals per day.

Joe is scheduled to defend his dissertation later this month. All
formatted, his dissertation is about 120 pages long and has about as
many journal references. That's a wad of work! How do you like my pun?
Joe just took a two-week bridging course to get him ready for work in
the hospital as he'll start third-year medical school next month.

We just returned home from the convention of the National Federation
of the Blind, NFB, in Dallas. We almost didn't go this year, but glad
we made it after all. That's my eleventh. I generally think I've heard
it all, by now, but as usual, I managed to come home with another
useful tid-bit; Some friends showed me how an audiobook player called
a Victor Stream can be used as a kind of audible teleprompter. This
has great potential for slowish braille readers like me for reading
scriptures aloud in Sunday school, giving speeches, and my latest
application, reading books to the kids. I'm looking forward to trying
it out. I've done similar things before using a computer, but this
little audiobook player is more responsive and more easily navigable
and unlike a regular MP3 player, it can convert text to speech. The
gadget has been out for five years now, and I've never given it a
second thought until now. Interesting how that happens. Lorin and
Dean, if you're reading this you're probably saying "I could have told
you that". So now that I've come around, we need to compare notes. PS
my notes will still be in braille.

Lastly, although my post really wasn't headed this way at first, I
feel the urge to acknowledge something more about myself here for
anyone who is still caught reading… This just might be the first post
in several years that would indicate that I have anything to do with
blindness. Yes, I'm blind. The last post I can remember might have
been two years ago either when I talked about my blind brothers or
when I talked about using a cane at the pool when Miriam was Caitlin's
age. If you're looking for an excellent blog that deals more closely
with blindness visit Slate and Stylish at
http://slateandstylish.blogspot.com/ or Making it on the Playground
http://makingitontheplayground.com/. These are both very well-informed
and entertaining. Anyway, the only reason I bring this up is to say
that although there's a place for blogs about blindness in networking
and educating, I feel grateful to note how little significance
blindness has in my life at this point, notwithstanding my diminishing
vision.

Just for the sake of saying so, I can't see much out of my left eye
any more. I'm just able to read 72 point font on my computer screen
out of my right eye, but when I close that eye, the page appears blank
(so it's a good thing I'm using screen-reading software rather than my
eyes). If you'd like a story to illustrate, I was headed to a meeting
at the NFB convention and got onto an elevator. Two seconds after the
doors closed, I heard a little voice next to me say "Hi Mommy". Joe
and Miriam were out riding the hotel elevators and I hadn't recognized
them right in front of me. It was actually a comic moment.

It's difficult for me to articulate the relief and gratitude I feel as
I think of my opportunities, mentors and teachers. My involvement with
the NFB and my attendance at the Louisiana Center for the Blind have
made all the difference in my life. I used to have so many more
worries and so much less confidence. I didn't even used braille or a
cane, which is a predicament that baffles me now. I'm so grateful to
have crossed those bridges already and be confident and effective in
my alternative skills so that my energy is not being consumed by
blindness and I can just get down to the business of living.

This is reality. I don't spend my life hoping for a cure. I don't
think about blindness even on a weekly basis although I remember some
of the things that used to tug at me daily despite my native optimism.

They say hindsight is 20/20 and looking back I was doing okay, but
it's nothing compared to the freedom I feel now. There's nothing like
knowing that even if in the likely event that I'll loose all my vision
at some point, it could even happen without me noticing because life
just goes on, and blindness is just darn annoying, but that's all it
is. To clarify, that's all it is given the great training and
opportunities I've been blessed to have been given.

I hope I don't sound over-zealous or over-emotional or just plain over the top.

Happy Independence Day. It feels great to be alive and free. My thanks
to those military and civilian, blind and sighted alike, who secure my
freedom.

Sturdy Girl

At eight and a half months Caitlin is officially standing. Look Mom,
no hands! She's also doing pull-ups on the side of her crib. She's
climbing the stairs like a champ too and thankfully seems to have
some kind of fear at the top.

Next step will be literal.

Goldy Locks & the Three Grapes

Miriam sat on the floor with one of my braille binders open and as she
turned a page she said "Once upon a time there were three grapes."
This seemed noteworthy since it's the first time I've heard her make
up a story from scratch. It's also possibly the longest sentence I've
heard her utter. To my knowledge she's never heard Goldy Locks and the
Three Bears; I think instead the genesis was from a Vegie Tales TV
episode based on The Grapes of Wrath. I'll have to ask her tomorrow
what happened to the three grapes in her story.

Moving, Milestones, & Madness

Last week I would have begun this post by saying, "It's official—I'm
going bonkers!" but this is a new week and maybe there's hope that
I'll be okay after all (not that life has gotten any less crazy
though).

The cause for such mother madness has been a combo of the upheaval
associated with moving house and Caitlin reaching a rapid succession
of milestones. So, I wrote previously that Caitlin was sitting up and
about a week after that, the week we moved into our house with stairs;
she learned how to crawl—Perfect timing. If that wasn't enough, about
a week after that I caught her pulling herself up onto her feet in her
crib or beside whatever else she could grab onto. She was only seven
months old by this point. Then a week after that she began
experimenting with letting go of whatever she was holding onto and
attempting to stand by herself, although she hasn't succeeded for more
than a teetering moment yet. Somewhere in there she also grew her
second tooth (that's two on the bottom now). Also she started moving a
step or two along furniture and has thankfully not progressed further
than that as yet because if this keeps up, I'm in for double trouble.
Oh, actually I might have to revise that and admit that further
trouble has broken out in that she is now climbing up the stairs every
time I look away for more than a second and she has no clue how to get
down yet except with the end result of biffing it. At eight months old
she possesses none of the needed caution. Thankfully to date I have
managed to pluck her off in time to prevent any major spills but she's
getting faster and more excited by the challenge. I've been avoiding
the hassle of a gate but perhaps it's inevitable.

Meanwhile Miriam has been transitioning okay, but bedtime has been a
challenge. For the first couple of weeks we'd be chasing her back to
bed constantly for at least an hour or two after bedtime; now I'll
admit that last grocery trip we also bought a doorknob with a lock
because this midnight rendezvous stuff routine has to end.

Currently both girls have runny noses and Caitlin has had a mild
fever, coughing and gagging for a week straight—poor girl. We've had
some long nights but last night was a bit better, so we'll hope for
the best.


Here's a funny Miriam story though to change the subject… On our first
weekend here after moving we were invited to our friend's house, the
Lilywhites for dinner. Miriam showed evidence of having been brought
up in an apartment when she looked out the window and saw a backyard
with a swing set and exclaimed "Look A park!"

Miriam has also loved living so close to Poppy's house. Ever since we
spent the New Year vacation visiting with Joe's family she has asked
at least on a weekly if not daily basis to "Go Poppy house?" Now we've
been stopping by at least once a week to jump on the trampoline or
swim in the pool.

One more Miriam story… On our second Sunday heading off to church, we
pulled out of the driveway and were heading down the street and Miriam
started saying something unintelligible but urgent. We asked her to
say it again and gathered that she was saying "Shut it.
We asked if she meant that we had left the garage door open and sure
enough that was it. She gave a little nod and "Mm-hmm" of satisfaction
as we drove back up the street and closed it. She's got sharp little
observational skills that girl. I'm sure she's busy noticing all my
bad habits too. I'll have to stop stirring the oatmeal with my finger
before I put it in the microwave. And I'll end on that thought.

Many Ways to Make A Friend

I used to be very shy, but now my shyness is outweighed by my desire
for friendship.I was blessed with wonderful group of friends in Fort
Worth who I am very sad to have left.
Thanks to Sharlyn Richardson, Jennifer Linford, Rachel Hair, and
Cheryl Jensen for watching my girls while I packed, and thanks Bryan
Linford and Judy Edwards for watching kids so Jennifer and Rachel
could help me clean. Thanks Bryan and missionaries for helping Joe
load the truck and thanks to Anne and Lorna for driving out to Fort
Worth to fetch me and the girls after Joe left with the truck. It
might be boring for others to read through that long list of names,
but I want those names to be remembered by me as well as Heaven. God
bless those friends as well as others not listed.

Now I'm back in San Antonio and reconnecting with old friends and
doing my best to establish new ones. Along with this effort, I'm
finally beginning to implement an idea from LDS General Conference,
October 2011; I'm memorizing a few scriptures. In his talk, The Power
of Scripture, Elder Richard G. Scott said—

"Great power can come from memorizing scriptures. To memorize a
scripture is to forge a new friendship. It is like discovering a new
individual who can help in time of need, give inspiration and comfort,
and be a source of motivation for needed change."

So, I'm trying to make friends with scriptures. At the time I heard
this it struck me as a great idea for me as a busy mother. It's
difficult to always make time for personal sctripture study, but if I
can carve out a bit of time to memorize a few scriptures, I can call
them to memory even when my hands are full. I've been trying to
memorize one a day from the seminary scripture mastery list and I've
already been surprised at how the words have been a powerful
influence. For example, here's one we all need…

""And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not
puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no
evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth,
beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth
all things." (Moroni 7:45)

These words were jumping in my head wen Caitlin was up at her usual
3am and I was feeling uncharitable.

Of course I'm not giving up on regular reading; I'll also say that
over the past couple of years I've also found that even distracted
scripture reading is rewarded. There's power in God's word. Now I need
to get stuck in the reading habit because I've been slack.

Looking forward to the new friends I'll make.

Caitlin's First tooth

Joe has been at a conference in San Diego this week and gets home
tomorrow night. Caitlin has a little surprise... All the fussiness is
now explained--a tooth! She'll also surprise him with her new-found
ability to army crawl.

I'm happy to report that I completed my first 10km race, the Fort
Worth Zoo Run. It's not every day you see elephants playing ball while
on your run. I'm still running just over an 11 minute mile, so hoping
to improve but glad I can run the full distance in any case. Thanks to
Michelle Laferney, my running guide. Note: Michelle took up running at
fifty-something and has just run her first two marithons this year.
Wow right? I'd say she qualifies as awesome.

In other news, I'm busy packing boxes. Thanks to my friend Rachel for
having Miriam over to play. I'm really blessed with wonderful friends.
I'll be so sad to leave. someone at church last Sunday commented on
how Caitlin has more hair than Miriam did at this age; I must admit I
almost cried to think of leaving the place where people remember my
children as babies. It surprised me that such a simple comment would
make me so nostalgic. We came here just the two of us and we're
returning as a family of four. Two years is a lifetime... Actually two
little lifetimes.

Sweet Dreams

I have two sleeping babies right now. I'm sat here dreaming of
triathlons. I fel in love with tandem biking just two years ago. This
year's habit is running--I'll be running my first 10km/6.2mile race
this weekend, and assuming I survive, this will be the perfet bookend
to a really great time living in Fort Worth as we are moving back to
San Antonio at the end of next week.

I have a friend, Jennifer Linford, who is into triathlons and she has
broadened my horizons. She took me swimming a couple of weeks ago for
my first laps in fifteen years. I had a great time and she claims I'm
fast--who knew? Well, I highly doublt I'm that fast, but perhaps I can
hope to get there.

So, I've been mulling this around for a few months and I'm now
prepared to commit it to writing. I'm training for a triathlon! Don't
be holding your breath though because it might take a while,
particularly since I'm thinking I'd really like to do it in Australia
with my sister, Beck.

Caitlin at 6 Months Old

That's right; we've been celebrating our little Caitlin's half
birthday today. Time has flown much faster with two children and I
regret not recording more of her milestones. Here's a couple; she just
learned to sit by herself. I hardly even saw her roll over much in the
past, but Joe went away to San Antonio for two days and now she's
become a pro at both.

Caitlin is so sweet, adorable, and smiley to everyone. That is, until
she gets hungry or tired, and then she becomes baby-zilla. She doesn't
mind letting you know her feelings.

I told Joe recently that I no longer feel invincible. I was quite
nervous as a new parent, and then I felt like I was getting the hang
of it. I was so excited when I could share parenting advice with
friends who were expectant mothers. I knew all about the best baby
products and gadgets and just what to do. Now I have a second child
who is not a carbon copy of the first, and I realized that parenting
is a completely different experience every time. Apparently I'm no
longer an expert.

Having two girls has been fun. They are now interacting more. Miriam
loves her little sister (although she's very jealous that Caitlin gets
to suck on a binky). Here are a few short stories:

Joe had caitlin in a front-pack and was pushing Miriam on the swing.
Every time the girls came close together they broke out laughing.
That's my first memory of them truly playing together. Now Miriam
likes to make baby laugh all the time.

Secondly, we've often called Caitlin "Baby" as though it was her name
and that's usually what Miriam calls her too. However, a couple of
weeks ago we were out walking and Caitlin started crying. Miriam
exclaimed "Oh no! My baby!" Miriam doesn't care for dolls too much,
but when it comes to the real thing, it appears she takes ownership.

Speaking of Miriam and funny exclamations... We took the girls to the
Fort Worth Science and History Museum. Joe took Miriam into a 4D
theatre to see a dinosaur show while i waited with Caitlin outside.
Joe reported that at the beginning of the show there was an almighty
boom, like a thunder clap which sent Miriam clinging to his side. Then
a moment elapsed and she piped up in her spunky little voice "What was
that!?". Apparently she raised some laughter in the theatre.

First & Last

First: Miriam said her first prayer last night (with help). She's
almost two-and-a-half now. It was very gratifying and cute to hear her
little self-conscious whisper echoing my words. We're off to a good
start.

Last: Joe just finished up the research and data collection portion
for his Ph.D. and can at long last complete his dissertation. Hooray!
As his mentor, Dr. Cunningham said today, "There's light at the end of
the tunnel, and it's not a train". Well thank goodness for that. I'm
very proud of Joe. Looks like graduation is finally eminent. Then just
two years more and he'll be a double doc (MDPh.D.).

Also, this Saturday I'll be running my first 5k race! I'm excited and
nervous. I'll be running it with a guide, my neighbor, Sharlyn. This
will be a completely new experience for me. I haven't raced since
elementary school.